5 Simple Steps For a healthy marriage that you can start today
We are often asked what our secret to a happy marriage is; why we still appear to be gushy newlyweds so much of the time, after over 3 decades together. As a happy wife, I have a few basics that keep me in the honeymoon mindset after more than 30 years!
Hello’s
We are still always so excited to see each other at the end of the day. When I look at the clock and I know that Warren’s going to be home any minute I try and make sure that even if I’m cooking dinner the rest of the kitchen is as tidy as possible, my makeup is on, hair looks nice, and when I hear the garage door open I run to the door to greet him with a smile. This doesn’t happen everyday it’s not always possible, and I KNOW I KNOW, it totally sounds like I’m some 1950s housewife, and we’re living inside a black and white tv show!! That’s truly not the case. (although I am sometimes wearing an apron!) I just genuinely am excited to see my husband come home and want to put my best self in front of him, because I know he does that for me.
(Disclaimer: We show each other grumpy, insecure, frustrated too! We do! I’m just telling you what we STRIVE for daily)
“I genuinely am excited to see my husband come home and want to put my best self in front of him, because I know he does that for me.”
Goodbye’s
When he leaves the house, or when I leave the house and he stays home, we always stand at the door and wave. That was instilled in me when I was a young child as my mom watched my Dad (and me as well) until she could no longer see us down the street and I find myself doing the same thing for not only Warren but my kids as well. (Ask them. I’m a little OCD about it actually.) So when he drives away I always say a little prayer and visualize him coming back to me again at the end of the day. I also know that he loves it and watches for it. Just like I watch for it. It’s a real nice fuzzy warm feeling to know that somebody loves you enough to take the time to stand in that doorway.
Share a laugh
Actually, we laugh a LOT! We laugh at each other, at ourselves, at the tv, at our kids, and sometimes at other people too! Like, not in a rude way, but it’s just so fun to see the humorous side of life, and we very much “get” each other.
One of the perks of being together since we were teenagers is we are so much in sync with each other that sometimes it just takes one look, and we’re both bursting out in giggles. I have to say I love that so much because it just makes things to much more effortless.
👈🏼(The only downside is our poor photographers often have trouble getting us to cooperate!)
Even if you aren’t decades into your relationship, the more time you spend together, the more adventures, and the more communication you have with each other, the more you will find those little humourous sparks flying!
Support in All Things
I don’t want anyone to think that our life is all sunshine and roses, because that’s just not the case. For goodness sake, when you’ve been together for so many decades of COURSE there’s been ups and downs, hardships and struggles, times of grieving and times of financial stress. But during all those stressful times we got even closer after coming through it. No. Not just after, but WHILE we went through it.
You see, we take “in sickness and in health, for better or for worse..” vows extremely seriously, and know that we can be each other’s safety net no matter what life hands us. Sometimes I am his, and sometimes he is mine, but we always know that the net is there and that we can depend on it 100%.
“We take “...for better or for worse” vows extremely seriously”
Trust is vital in a long term relationship. Think about how you support your significant other and how they support you. You may be surprised at how many times they were a rock for you to lean on. Don’t forget to thank them, and remember to be that rock for them too! If you can’t think of those times, then you go first. How can you support your loved one today and make their life a little brighter?
Day Dating and One Night Getaways
Make time for each other. Warren and I have always loved to spend time together, we even worked together years ago and would love to do so again one day. (This blog is scratching that itch right now!) But what is super important is the “getaway time” without the kids, without anyone else to distract us, just us two. We try for at least every 90 days, travel or staycation time.
It’s not always possible to get out of town, so we make sure that we book special “getaway days” where we’ll spend an entire day hanging out, walking around in a mall or a park (holding hands!), dining, and ending up in a hotel right in our own city!
Planning getaway dates, whether long or short, is so important for your marriage. They’re a time when you can truly be man and wife and best of friends, instead of Mom, Dad, Cook, Laundry Folder, and Bill Payer.
It’s incredible how much that little commitment to time spent together can recharge and reset life once we return home. Try it soon, and comment below. We’d love to hear about your own fun staycation!
