7 surefire ways to grab more attention from your spouse!
Put down your cell phone!
Now you may think that we mean THEY should put down their phone and pay attention to you! While that’s true, it works the other way around too. If you are always nose to the phone and only “half listening” to what they are saying, it won’t be long before they lose interest and don’t even bother bringing you into the conversation. Don’t lose that! Give them your undivided attention (REALLY) and then you’ll be able to ask for that in return.
Ask more questions!
Now some of you might think your spouse already asks too many questions (case in point, we’ll leave it to you to guess which one of us feels that way! ) But it might just be about asking the RIGHT questions. Not just “how was your day”, but if you have been really listening and engaging then you should be able to ask questions like “how did your meeting with…. go?” or “I know you were excited to finish your project, are you happy with the results?” Do you get what we’re saying here? The more engaged you are the more interaction you will receive back. This relationship means everything to you. Feed it like you would the most precious plant.
“The more engaged you are the more interaction you will receive back.”
Wife Day/Husband Day.
From the very beginning of our marriage we have done this and it’s always been such a sweet surprise. (We had girlfriend/boyfriend day before that too!)
Here’s an attention grabber… a little surprise left for her on the pillow, or something fun for him sitting on the counter with a Happy Husband Day note means SO much! It doesn’t have to break the bank. It could be a CD of a new band he’d like, a new book from her favourite author, a fun pair of socks, spicy salsa, a surprise dessert, mix up a favourite drink, let your imagination go!
The point is that unlike Valentine’s Day, Anniversaries, or Mother’s and Father’s Days, you show that they are in your thoughts on any given random day. That will mean the world, we promise you, and fingers crossed you will start something that they can get excited about too!
You start first, aaaaand go.
Pay Attention. Be a good listener!
This may take some self discipline, but here’s the thing. If you are the one who is always talking, then guess what? You aren’t giving the love of your life a chance to express themselves!
One of you may be naturally quieter than the other, and that’s okay but remember that just because they use their words more sparingly they still have important things to say too, and will want to feel like they get a turn. This can go back to the previous tip. If you are asking questions, then let them answer. Don’t interrupt (this is hard for some of us. Try biting your lips to hold them together if that helps!!)
Listening and eye contact are huge in being a supportive spouse and showing that you value what they have to say.
Follow each other on social media
Here’s the thing. Maybe they are trying to build an online presence for a business, or maybe you are! Or they could be just sharing their little life ups and downs, funny moments, or sweaty gym selfies. But whatever it is, I guarantee you are missing out if you are not plugged in and connecting with them online.
You may think, well we see each other in the evenings and on weekends, which may be true, but be honest with yourself. Between getting dinner ready and cleaning it up, attending to children if they are still at home, and doing the things that need to get done around the house, not to mention all of the Netflix bingeing, there are things you aren’t chatting about. It may be just the “little things”, but lose enough of those and there can be a break in the connection.
And hey, if you interact with them (like and comment on their posts, be supportive!) then they will reciprocate! Why isn’t your best friend your best Friend on social media too?
Do more together.
They can’t ignore you if you are one half of a squash team, or the other person paddling the canoe, or soaring down the road in that rented convertible singing to your favourite tunes! You CAN pack a lot of living in, and the more you can do together the more memories you will create, therefore the more conversations you will have, and the more photos you can post to Instagram for the other person to comment on and like!!
Domino effect at its finest!
Be Supportive
Be supportive and they will become your best cheerleader too! It’s a big world out there and in your lifetime you will come across people who don’t understand you, who talk back to you, who belittle you, and who make you feel angry.
Whether it’s your boss, your kids, your neighbor, or the guy that just cut you off on the highway, it will happen and it is imperative that there is someone on this planet that you know has your back and will defend you to the ends of the earth no matter what. Your ride or die, so to speak.
In a healthy happy marriage YOU are that person for your spouse, and they are that person for you. No question. No hesitation. It’s in the vows, remember?
When the chips are down, you have your person and that can make all the difference in the world. When you look into each other’s smiling faces at the end of the day you know you are home.
What ways do you and your spouse show each other that you care?
How are you paying attention to your Ride or Die?
Share with us in the comments!💬👇🏻
